a shameless plug 4

Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto by Anneli Rufus

I picked up a copy of this book on Mon and read it straight through in two days. Now I know why I am the way I am around people, especially Messengers. I know why I get emotionally worn out when I'm in large groups, even familiar ones, having to be social and 'play nice'. It's a bit much to put down here, but sufficed to say,  I'm not 'broken' and so don't need to be 'fixed'. For all true loners out there, this book can help.

Good times (from a livejournal, once-removed)

Close your eyes....And go back....
Before the Internet or the MAC
Before semi automatics and crack
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...
Way back.......
I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.
Red light, Green light.
Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Mother May I?
Red Rover
Hula Hoops
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals
Wait......
Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages,
G-Force & He-Man, Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos
Playing Dukes of Hazard
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
Christmas morning.......
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Getting an Ice Cream off the Ice Cream Truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed.
Pillow fights
Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from playin'....
Your first crush......
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7Up" in the class room.
Remember that?
I'm not finished yet....
Kool-aid was the drink of summer
Toting your friends on your handle bars
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips
When nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got there.
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a miracle.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat!
And some of us are still afraid of em!!!
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!
There's nothing like the good old days!
They were good then, and they're good now when we think about them.
Share some of these thoughts with a friend who can relate,
then share it with someone that missed out on them.
I want to go back to the time when............
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handledby whoever was the banker in "Monopoly"
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate ultimate weapon.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life...I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!
Gosh that felt good! It is nice to go back and I wish we had the same for our children.

Seven

Seven things to do before I die

1. Fall in love/Find my other half

2. Take a roadtrip

3. Write a book

4. Finish therapy

5. Win the Powerball jackpot

6. Meet Stephen King

7. Adopt kids

Seven things I can't do (but wish I could)

1. Speak German

2. Save money

3. Speak my mind

4. Find North by the stars

5. Rock-climb

6. Drive

7. Beat the final boss on 'Gears of War' by myself

Seven things I look for in a guy

1. Compassion

2. A (tasteful) sense of humor

3. Intelligence

4. Humility

5. Character

6. Honesty

7. Love

Seven things I say most often

1. Cool

2. Sure, no problem

3. Figures

4. That's funny

5. Uh-huh

6. Son-of-a-b***h!

7. Dude

Seven books I love

1. The Dark Tower #3: The Waste Lands

2. The Dark Tower #7: The Dark Tower

3. Sabriel

4. Pontoon

5. The Oath

6. Duma Key

7. Pendragon, Book 1: The Merchant of Death

Seven movies I would watch over and over

1. Hide and Seek

2. Hannibal

3. Robots

4. Wild, Wild West

5. Volcano

6. Chronicles of Riddick

7. Fifth Element

Seven people I'd like to meet

1. Stephen King

2. Anthony Hopkins

3. Gordon Ramsay

4. Mark Lowry

5. Garrison Keillor

6. Robert DeNiro

7. Don Shelby

I got this from my sister's blog. Anyone who read it was to consider themselves tagged, so I guess I'm 'it.' I tweaked it a bit and added the last question to make the list a full seven. Enjoy!

Personal progress

At the beginning of May, Doc Sig and I made a breakthrough of sorts and were, I felt, at the start of another road that would lead to progress. Then I had some physical health issues. Nothing serious, but it was inconvenient and made getting out of the apartment uncomfortable. I didn't even make the effort of going to church because John was on sabbattical and not preaching. So there was a stretch of 2 to 3 weeks where I had little to no contact with anyone but my Dad. I don't mean this in a negative sense, just that I'm an introvert by nature. If I'm not forced to be outgoing on a regular basis, I tend to revert to an anxious wallflower and to prefer it that way.

It's gotten better in the past week or so, taking the bus to church or helping my grandma with groceries. But even with Messengers I've noticed that what little social/interpersonal progress I made (making eye contact, smiling and saying more than hello) is far below what it was previously. It's disconcerting to see how hard I have to work for a little progress, but how easily I can fall back onto old behaviors.