Personal progress

At the beginning of May, Doc Sig and I made a breakthrough of sorts and were, I felt, at the start of another road that would lead to progress. Then I had some physical health issues. Nothing serious, but it was inconvenient and made getting out of the apartment uncomfortable. I didn't even make the effort of going to church because John was on sabbattical and not preaching. So there was a stretch of 2 to 3 weeks where I had little to no contact with anyone but my Dad. I don't mean this in a negative sense, just that I'm an introvert by nature. If I'm not forced to be outgoing on a regular basis, I tend to revert to an anxious wallflower and to prefer it that way.

It's gotten better in the past week or so, taking the bus to church or helping my grandma with groceries. But even with Messengers I've noticed that what little social/interpersonal progress I made (making eye contact, smiling and saying more than hello) is far below what it was previously. It's disconcerting to see how hard I have to work for a little progress, but how easily I can fall back onto old behaviors.