Stress

We (The Messengers) are smack in the middle of performances. Our first was this past Fri, the second just yesterday. The first was a train wreck, with several dropped or garbled lines and missed cues. The second went so much better you'd almost think it was a different play. And we still have three to go (17th, 19th, 26th).

Even in the weeks before we started, the muscles across my back and shoulders were tight. Now I'm tired and achy all over: head, neck, shoulders, back, legs. Also my chest feels a bit constricted like a panic attack and, while it's mild, it comes and goes. Although, that may be due to my increased smoking, which itself is a way I deal with stress.

Fortunately, since the first show is over and done with, all the anxiety I felt pre-season has descended to a low hum. Since our next two showings are at our church's North Site, which we've been to before, I don't expect it to ramp up again until our final performance on the 26th at an unfamiliar church. I'm sure I can keep it together until then, it's afterward that I'm wary of. I may stay in bed all day of the 27th just to avoid blowing up at someone who won't deserve it.

And, of course, underlying all of this is the grievous fact that my psychological anchor, Doc Sig, is out of the picture indefinitely. The message on his office phone says he's out for at least three weeks (from the 4th) which means I won't get to see him until the first or second week in Nov.