up and down

In Jan of this year I published a two-part post about a change in my perspective, my outlook on life if you will. It had to do with a Messengers' prayer meeting coupled with an All Night of Prayer at my church. The confluence of these two events collaborated to put me up, not just emotionally but in a practical way of understanding. Since then I told Dave my secret (one of them anyway), consequently got booted from Messengers, and was for all intents and purposes excluded from rehearsals. Add on top of that my joining a book study where I don't know anyone, and Doc Sig being out of town. Right now I'm back to where I was before Jan, not caring much for church except to see John on a regular basis. By the way, in this past Sat pre-service prayer we all laid hands on him. Let's just say I've become very proficient at suppressing my outward expressions, so no one suspected I was giddy at the mere thought.

In a side-note, I figured out why I get so agitated when I think of talking to John. He makes me feel stupid. I know he doesn't mean to, but it is what it is. He has numerous degrees from universities around the world (I know for sure he studied in Germany for a time). He's written dozens of books, the majority of which go right over my head. Except for the summer when he's on sabbatical, he writes a weekly sermon for a congregation of thousands. What could I possibly have to say to a man of his caliber? Nice sermon? Keep up the good work? Forget about quoting scripture. It's be like the Pharisees quoting to Jesus.