an apple to an orange?

Why is it that I can I be just friends with Ed but not Dave? Is it only because the situation with Dave has rearranged my perceptions and definitions of 'friendship', thus redefining my expectations? Not entirely I think, though that is part of the equation (as it will be with any relationship from now on). Even before this, I haven't felt the fateful wanting of 'something more' or the need to explain myself to Ed. Perhaps it's because he is more like my own dad than Dave is, which makes it easier for me to be at ease around him.

As with my dad, Ed and I are buddies. We talk and joke, and we can come and go from each other's presence without my panicking. The only way I can explain this is that when Ed leaves, I trust that I'll see him again. Maybe it's because he's more informal, more casual, than Dave is. Ed is single, he doesn't work (he lives on a pension) but that doesn't mean he's idle, he shares a small basement apartment with his grown son, and he pretty much comes and goes as he pleases. Dave, on the other hand, is married, has a job that he goes to every day, a house to maintain, and four young children and a teenage daughter living at home.

Looking at it like this it seems to be no contest, and I'm wondering why I didn't see it before. However, if I'd attached myself to Ed in the first place, it might have been him that I had now estranged myself from. Given the choice, I'd rather have Ed.