I forgot some things

#1) Concerning yesterday's post on separation for the sake of avoiding temptation, maybe I should consider 'doing the right thing' and asking Doc. Sig. for a referral. He's in the same category as Dave and John, so it would be dishonest of me to continue to see him if my motives aren't true, right? Right? (How do you express sarcasm in writing?) Maybe it's for the best that I don't say anything. He hasn't conveyed that it's a problem, perhaps because he doesn't think it's an issue for me. Then again, maybe the reason he hasn't mentioned it is precisely because he doesn't want create an issue that may not exist. Either way one of us is being dishonest, more likely me.

#2) In my continued effort to be more social and trying to develop female friends (per Lotis' and Dave's suggestion) I agreed to go walking at the Mall of America with Joy today, at 6 o'clock in the friggin morning. I am NOT a morning person, so it would have been bad enough with someone I like. This was nigh unbearable. I was being polite but not much more as I didn't get any sleep last night.

#3) I was going back over something I told Joy in our conversation last night, that I divert my trek to church on Sat so I can walk past John's house. I wasn't real clear on the purpose, something about trying to reconcile how I see him as an icon (The Great John Piper) but lately trying to see him as an actual person. Not good. That could very well come back to bite me in the ass later.

#4) After further examination of my heated statements in defense of Ed, I realized they were a little too emphatic. Partly because Ed is my friend (Doc. Sig. says part of my psychological makeup is a fierce loyalty to the few I do trust as friends) and I doubt Dave and Lotis have discussed their perception of his behavior with him directly. They've probably fished around the edges, asking if there's anything going on or how they can pray for him. They did the same with me. Instead of coming right out and telling me they had a problem with my insular behavior, it took a radical deviation from the norm on my part to make them act. I hope that, if Ed is coloring outside the proverbial lines, it doesn't take something drastic to incite them to help. And that they would be rational and fair in the judgement.

#5) At yesterday's pre-service prayer we all laid hands on John again. I was able to better concentrate this time until the guy next to me put his hand over mine instead of on John proper. It wasn't a full hand-on-hand contact, just his fingers touching the backs of mine. I snuck a peek and saw that there was room on John's arm just above my hand, so I don't know why he put his hand over mine. I don't think it was anything other than innocent contact, but he's got some developmental problems so I can't say for sure.