an interesting turn of events

Yesterday, Saturday, turned into an interesting day real quick.

After church yesterday evening I found my way to Ed because he said he'd give me a ride home. He then informed me that he and a friend of his had to take an exam for some church class they have, but that I could go with Ed's son Ben who was headed over to hang out with Dave's kids. Ed said he would be by later and then give me a ride home from there. I was hesitant since Dave's whole family is part of my 'problem' as Dave sees it, but figured it was ok since, last I'd heard, Dave was in the Philippines.

So as the whole group (Ben, me, my younger brother Matthew, the four youngest of Dave's kids, and the niece of Messengers' director) walked to the van Ben was driving (which is actually Dave's) I find out that, lo and behold, Dave is not in the Philippines. He ended up not going because of work schedule conflicts. So all the way back to Dave's I'm debating on telling Ben that I may not be welcome in Dave's house and could he please drive me home. By the time Ben parked at the curb at Dave's, though, I had resolved to see what Dave's reaction to my being there was before I made any rash decisions.

After Ben parked and everyone had piled out, I came around the back of the van and there's Dave coming up the walk to the house. I dropped my gaze so fast you'd have thought I'd seen a $100 bill on the ground. I wanted to crawl under the van, so afraid was I that Dave would rebuke me right there. I didn't make a move to go into the house until Dave had disappeared inside, and even then I did a physical double-take at the doorway because I was so sure that Dave wouldn't want me there.

Once inside I stayed out of sight until dinner, at which point I ended up directly across the table from Dave through no plan of my own (if I'd had my way I would've eaten on the stairway to the second floor, which is the farthest you can get from the dining room without being outside). At first while I was eating my head was so low that my chin was practically resting on the table and I kept my eyes on my food, but as the meal progressed (with no negative comment or body language from Dave) I became more relaxed and able to enjoy the evening a bit. It was actually a lot like the Messenger meetings with practically no interaction between Dave and I, no words exchanged and no eye contact that I can recall.

Renee isn't supposed to be home until Thur (but then Dave wasn't supposed to be home until then either) and I'm thinking of going over there on Mon and demanding that Dave and I need to talk. They say fortune favors the bold, I just wish I didn't get a weak feeling in my knees and stomach whenever Dave looks at me.