keeping busy

It's a good thing Dave is out of the country (he's in Manila, Philippines doing 'meet 'n' greets' with churches for the Messengers' trip there next year) because I am jonesing for someone to talk to. I debated on talking with Ed, but that kind of thinking is what got me in this situation with Dave in the first place, and my next appointment with Doc. Sig., my therapist, isn't for another week and a half. Ack, I just have to keep my mind off it. Which is hard to do when the only social life I had was Messengers. Now the only thing I can look forward to in my week is Sat. church.

I've been going to that church since I was about 8 years old, have been through all the kid's Sunday school classes, preteen girls groups, Jr. and Sr. High youth group (with their innumerable retreats), as well as a few adult small groups. I grew up in that church, it's very much a second home. I feel safe and secure there even with its big crowds of recognizable faces to which very few can place names. It's been one of the constants in a life that feels directionless and I have a lot of memories tied to that church, some bad, but very many good ones too. That's part of the reason I end up there two hours early when I take the bus in. I'd rather be doing nothing there than doing nothing at home.

I think I'll call Ed for a ride to church (he's offered before) and gauge if the situation would be conducive to a talk. I'd just have to pick and choose my words extremely carefully if we do talk. And whatever I do, DO NOT mention the word obsession.