It's about time.

That's what I said after Renee (Dave's wife) called this morning to set up a meeting for this evening between her, myself, Dave, and Lotis (the director of the Messengers drama group) in order to talk about "this situation". But after I said that I realized there was no substance behind it, no frustration or angst. Not even a desperate hope that once I plead my case everything will go back to the way it was before. In fact, my first reaction to seeing Dave's number on the phone's caller i.d. was surprise. It's been about 7 weeks since my last conversation with Dave, and I figured if he hadn't talked to me by now he never would. But I guess the opposite was true, it just took longer than I expected. I understand now that that is a very good thing.

Remember when I said I thought I was about halfway to being over Dave (Baby Steps-10/30)? Hah! Even two weeks ago I would have cringed at the thought of being around Dave because of how I thought/think he sees me, as an unstable leech with daddy issues. Granted that is my nature (which I am trying to change) but I didn't want Dave to see it that way. But since it is my nature, this outcome was practically inevitable once I opened my mouth. And as I've said before, I'm sorry it was the cost of a 'normal' friendship with Dave that taught me this life lesson.

But back to the meeting. On the one hand I'm glad because I do miss Dave and his family. As I've said before (or perhaps not, I don't remember) they filled a need. But on the other hand, I'm already nervous around Dave. But then you add in Lotis (who was a bit of a tyrant in the kindest sense of the word) I'm downright scared. I'm sure you've heard of 'A-type personality'. Lotis is that and then some. She's not a bully, but she can be overbearing. I have to remind myself to not go overboard on the defensive, playing the wounded victim. But I also must make the extra effort to not clam up if they say something I don't want to hear.