nontraditional sermon

Tonight's church service was a little surreal, a little disconcerting.

Tonight was the final sermon on the book of Romans, which John Piper has been going through for about eight years. John was getting a little emotional after recounting all the things that had happened during the book of Romans; three of his four sons got married during Romans, all of his grandchildren were born during Romans, the new section of the church was built and is debt free during Romans, two new campuses have been planted during Romans. So this being the last sermon on the last verse in Romans is a big deal for him.

John says that according to the bible, if you are a true christian you have Christ in you. On that note, instead of dong his usual preaching about Jesus, John made it an open-eyed prayer to Jesus. So for 30 minutes he was saying 'you' but not meaning the congregation even though he was looking right at us. It was a weird feeling, to know that John meant for all of us to hear what he was saying but also knowing that he meant every word as a prayer.

It also didn't help that I was in the second row with no one at all in front of me, so John had an unobstructed sight-line of me. He may not have looked directly at me every time, but his head turned in my direction enough times for me to know that he did indeed see me. I almost had a panic attack right there in my seat, perfectly calm on the outside but squirming on the inside, wanting to wriggle under the seat to hide.

As far as the 'experiment' is going (see last paragraph of 12/04, 'in denial') I think I'm close. I don't trust easily for a fact, and being able to trust John even on some rudimentary level is part of seeing him as a person, as more human if you will. It's a lot harder to trust a person, to put your inner self on the line for a person, than it is for a vague notion or ideal of a person. But I'm getting there, by inches.