by myself, Day1: points and problems

1) My dad left this morning with my older sister and her two kids to visit my younger sister in Tennessee. He left his cell phone here to be able to get ahold of me because our internet is dial-up with no second line for calls. He said I could take the cell with me if I go out (like to church tomorrow) and on that note I decided I should figure out how to put the ringer to silent.

2) In doing so I came across his call history and in it saw Dave's cell number. Thinking Dave had left a voice message (but with no real idea how to work my dad's phone) I pushed a button in the hopes of hearing said message that might be there. Instead I heard the phone start to dial. In my panic I completely blanked on how to cancel the call and it rang twice before I could hang up.

3) About ten minutes later my dad's cell rang, and guess who's number was on the caller i.d.? I ignored it. What was I going to say? "Hi, Dave. No that was me by accident." I think he'd have trouble believing I was sincere. They say honesty is the best policy, but does that count if you wouldn't be believed anyway?

4) Dave left a voice message, which I listened to, twice, and then deleted. He said he was in the middle of airport security (?) when 'dad's' call came through and said he might try and call 'dad' later this evening.

Now what am I going to do? Should I ignore him, hope he'll forget and go away? I've learned that just because you pretend something isn't there doesn't mean it disappears. Plus, since saving my dad's immortal soul is kind of Dave's pet project, I doubt Dave will forget. But I have an idea. I called Dave at about ten to noon, Dave called back a little after noon. The time frame is a little tight, but I might be able to say that my dad called Dave just before he left for Tennessee and when Dave called he just missed him. But if I answer the phone if Dave calls later, how do I explain why I didn't answer it before?

I know that the only reason I'm in this problem is because I wanted to hear Dave's voice, but I had no intension of actually calling him. (Though the only difference between hearing his voice in a message or live is a the way I justify it. Dave would still see it as a disregard for boundaries.) Even if I were to answer Dave if he calls tonight and convince him it was an accident, I know the truth of my own motives. I wanted to hear Dave's voice, period. No excuses for my behavior. I was wrong for even trying to 'listen in' on a message that was not meant for me.

So here is another quandry. Do I confess my slip to Dave and hope for understanding (if not forgiveness), or do I let it go? Should I voluntarily dig myself deeper into the pit (of my own making) of however he sees me now, or tell myself 'no harm, no foul'? Is honesty indeed the best policy? Can one be too honest, even in a situation like this?

Just yesterday I thought I was doing better. Maybe I am? After all, I did listen to Dave's message two times but then I deleted it. Although, I did call him in the first place, accident or not. Pertaining to my previous entry I'm starting to understand that just because you're sorry, it doesn't make everything alright.